endless rain into a paper cup

I wish I could wake up and cry words on to paper.

drip. drip. drip.

Not all words would be sorrow from boy drama, like most girls seem to write.

They would be tears of discovery and adventure. They would be tears of the places I traveled to in my dreams. They would be tears of joy found in the simplicity of things.

To write in the late hours of the day. To write when everyone is watching. To write as the head has been lifted off the pillow in the middle of a sleepless night. To write in secret.

To bash and burn. To guide and comfort. To bring color to a dull world.

To add a book to the bookshelf in a library. To add a book to the New York Best-sellers list. To ad to the front page of your local newspaper.

drip. drip. drip.

Sot sobs become become poetry. Headache and scream-filled tears become the best novel ever written.

Dead. Dead are the tears of the fearful poet. Tears that could have touched the hearts of many. fear. fear. fear. dead. dead. dead.

The eyes of a writer are greedy. Give me more! they cry. And then the tears. tears. words. flow like a river because somehow the greedy eyes trigger the flow of tears.

They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.
Avec amour,
Maddiey Beardall

Bieber Fever

I didn't get asked to Sweethearts. It's fine. Instead, I went to the Justin Bieber Movie with my galfriends.

I thought of him as a sad teenage boy who sings like a girl. Coming out of the movie today, I now have more respect for Bieber. I am amazed at how desperate/crazy/ostrobogulous his fans are.... those crazy girls are so obsessed that they bawl their heads off for a man they may only see in person once (if they're EXTREMELY LUCKY, maybe they'll see him twice). I couldn't help but laugh the whole movie (mainly because of the ostrobogulous fans). HAW HAW- HAIR FLIP? Oh yeah, it was great. What more can you say about it?

Good luck with the rest of your career, Bieber.
That's all I have to say.
Lahve always,
Maddiey

Day Nine: I Believe

For your enjoyment,  here is a list of thing I believe in (in no particular order):

1) I believe God is there. He loves us and wants us to be happy.

2)I believe Everyone is beautiful in their own way- including myself. 

3)I believe A photograph speaks a thousand-plus words.

4)I believe In wishing wishes, dreaming dreams.

5)I believe People shouldn't be afraid to be themselves.

6)I believe Telling yourself that your going to be happy everyday makes you happy- everyday.

7) I believe Laughter is the best sound.

8)I believe Music is the greatest food for the soul- and chocolate.

9)I believe Talking/thinking with yourself is very therapeutic. 

10)I believe in writing in your journal. Telling it your stories and secrets- they won't tell a soul unless you let them.

11)I believe Every girl deserves a romance- their "Happily Ever After"- including moi.

12)I believe Breathing in and seeing nature is therapeutic.

13)I believe in good writing, beautiful pieces of art.

14)I believe smiling and laughing is healthy.

15)I believe in running. It helps me clear my mind.

16)I believe no one should be afraid to cry when they need to.

There is to many too list and too many too many to remember. That's okay. I think this will do. 

Believe in yourself.

Lahve always,

Madison

Day Eight: Just a Moment

The other day my brother asked me to help him make his lunch. It took me a while to get started on it because I was in the middle of doing something. When I finally got on his sandwich I realized that it was 1:11PM. Oh yeah, I freaked out and yelled, "MAKE A WISH!!" I squeezed my eyes shut, getting ready to wish. My brother got impatient and decided to start making his sandwich. He was sick and I couldn't allow that so I put my wish aside and helped him. By the time I turned around to make my wish, it was 1:13PM.
"Thanks A LOT, Brayden!" I said sarcastically.
Then there was a slight pause, a silence.
"sorry..." he replied.
I tried so hard not to laugh, but that didn't last very long.
He seriously asked me, "What?"
"Nothing... {snicker, snicker}..."
To try to make me "feel better" he said, "Well if you wait ten more minutes, you can make another wish- 1+2=3 (1:23PM)!"
I never remembered that wish. Oops.

Day Two: First Love

I am different from everybody else. (Duh.)

Okay, let me be more specific. I was never one of those girls that went around crushin' on every boy she met. You see, I don't ever remember actually loving a boy. Now that I am in high school, I have changed. I am still not the go-around-and-crush-on-every-boy-you-meet type of girl, but love had a different meaning for me. I have friends. Guy friends. If he is always kind to me, I may end up liking him more than I originally planned. That's how it goes.  I don't just like the guy for looks. I like him for the way he treats me and those around him. 

These last few days, weeks, I have thought about guys I've liked. At the time, I convinced myself that I didn't really like anyone at the moment. But that's when I realized that's a lie. I have sort of fallin' in love with this kid I never thought I would ever fall in love with. He's slightly dirty (only slightly). But whenever he talks to me, he talks to me like a friend. He may say some rude/crude things to other people, but never to me. It's nice.

But let's not talk about that... I have already said enough... MORE than enough...

For day two, I wanted to share a story from when I was young. The first time someone loved me. First Grade. At first, we were just friends. We would work on every project together, eat lunch together, talk together at recess. (Ha- funny story- we would eat lunch together, then go to the bathroom to wash our hands. Since we were different genders we had to separate to our bathrooms to wash our hands. Whoever would finish first would wait in between the bathrooms, waiting, waiting for the other one to finish.) You could say that we were best friends.

Then, before I knew it, people were snickering and teasing. That's when I finally realized that maybe we weren't just friends- to him at least. That's when I considered that maybe he did like me... 

People continued to tease and our friendship was torn apart. I don't like him like that anymore, but I admit, it would be nice if we were still friends.

So I kinda sorta think I might like you a tiny speck of a bit more than I originally planned, said the Maddiey who is quoting MissLindy. (sorry Brynn, I just had to steal that way of quoting from ya...it's slightly different so it should be ok...)

Lahve always,

Madison

tears, twinkle lights, and confusion

 my mom said it was time to put my
twinkle lights away.
i am very sad.

 it was a eerie to think that school was truly back in session. (eheew, don't even mention it, Maddiey!) i am still on strike with grammar- okay, all except for when i am in english...

as fourth period ended, i walked solemnly down the hallway by myself. at first i wasn't thinking about much, and that's when i realized something odd (odd is my new word... for a little while...). i realized i didn't remember ever coming to school this morning! i was a little confused how i got inside the school ( i wonder if my face showed it... people probably found it funny). i had to convince myself that Brenna's mom gave me a ride to school, which really did happen. when i reached the end of the hallyway (oh wow... i am not going to delete that hilarious mistake... hehe.), i met up with brynn. it was an odd greeting. i was still trying to figure things out. i am not sure what fried my brain. it must be the new year and new adjustments. (Maddiey, you better adjust quick!!!)

i desperately want to drive. but i know that with all the ice, there is no way my mom would want me to take the car. one day i would like to get my own car. a junky car. old fashion. yes, i want an old fashion, junky car.

i have to laugh at my almost-ten-year-old sister, Kenedi. she is trying to understand the fact that Joseph isn't Jesus' father- Heavenly Father is. She understood that Heavenly Father was Jesus' father but she kept getting her Josephs mixed up. She was confusing Joseph (Jesus' half-father) with Joseph Smith. She said, "So there's two Josephs? One is Joseph Smith and the other is Mary's Joseph?" I find it funny that she called him "Mary's Joseph."

be happy and try not to get confused.

lahve always,

Madison

p.s. friends, just because i  sign the end of my blog with Madison doesn't mean i want to be called that. please still call me Maddiey

p.p.s. i got a new light bulb for my reading lamp.