oh snap!

I go through a lot of moments where I find something breathtakingly beautiful, but the moment is ruined simply because I do not have a camera. I can't handle it anymore.

That's why I have decided that...

I, Madison Beardall, will carry my camera with me everywhere till the day it breaks. When it does break, I promise to purchase a new one as soon as possible.
A secret project.
I am excited.
It is a lovely project, I think.
I can't wait to show you when I finish.
Prepare yourselves to be amazed.

Radio, radio, tell me something I wanna know, wanna know.

Avec Amour,
Madison

I can take you for a ride on my big green tractor.

Ma mére has her visiting teachers over. That means I have to be SUPER careful of what I do or say.


Last time they were over when I was home I had just finished a shower. I did not know they were upstairs and started singing some ridiculous song at the top of my lungs all the way to my bedroom. McKayla came to my room not long after and told me that they were all laughing at me upstairs. Oh boy.


I am just trying so hard not to sing too loud to embarrass my mother. It's taking all my will power not to...


So here's the thing. I really like country music. It's the music I grew up listening to. But most of you already knew that. But what you don't know is this:


I love the country songs about tractors.  


She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy by Kenny Chesney and Big Green Tractor by Jason Aldean. I would like to go on a date where we go on a ride on his tractor and have a picnic in the fields. Yeah, that's my kind of romance- country style.

Here's some country favorites (including the two mentioned above):

• 1970 Somethin' ( Mark Willis)
• Honey Bee ( Blake Shelton)
• I Love You This Big ( Scotty McCreery)
• Put You in a Song ( Keith Urban)
• Just a Kiss ( Lady Antebellum)
• No one Needs to Know (Shania Twain)

Listen to some country music. Please.
Avec amour,
Madison

Time.

How is it that time travels so fast? I'm really a sophomore in high school? Am I really already sixteen? What? I will really be a legal adult in two years? Is there really only two more summers left until I'm on my own?

It feels like just yesterday I was dancing with my baby doll in my living room. It feels like I was just flying kites at the beach with grandma and grandpa. Seems like just yesterday I was counting down the days until I could get my permit. Just yesterday I was a Beehive looking up to all the Laurels in my ward.

And now, all of that is come and gone. I have graduated from brushing my dolls' hair and moved up to brushes being "microphones." Flying kites has turned into occasional Sunday Phone calls. I am now the Laurel that all the Beehives look to.

Where did time go?

"Don't blink 

just like that

your six years old

and you take a nap, and you 

wake up and you're twenty five 

then your high school sweetheart becomes your wife

Don't blink 

Just might miss your babies grow

and like mine did

turning into moms and dads,

next thing you know

your better half of fifty years is there in bed

and you're praying God takes you instead 

trust me friend 

A hundred years goes faster than you think. 

So don't blink."

-Don't Blink, Kenney Chesney

Day Twenty: January

I have had a lot to think about this month. New goals, new wishes. I have thought a lot about what I believe in and the person I am becoming. I have had new challenges. I am a new person every day, unsure of what I am going to say or do. It's fine because in the end, I am happy with where my life is headed. I have experimented a lot of new things. I've gained a greater respect for God's creations, my friends, and even more for myself.

I have enjoyed the sparatic days when the sun warmed the earth. I have enjoyed the many parties and get together's that have brightened my weekends, the chance to start driving without an adult in the car. The chance to set new goals and be who I want to be.

Enjoy your last day of January.
Lahve always,
Madison

p.s. At the bottom of my playlist, there is a song that is new to my playlist. It's called Listen to Your Heart. You may have already heard of it, but that's okay. I suggest you listen to it. It's my favorite.

Day Nineteen: Regrets

I have plenty of regrets. The eat me away, sometimes to the point where I don't think I can take it anymore. There is one regret that keeps coming back to me. It is the one regret that I can't seem to get rid of or control. 

My regret is:

Words. 

I'm a human that struggles with saying the right things to others,  judgmental thoughts, and making sense. I sometimes can't find the words to describe my emotions or experiences. Sometimes I think too hard about what to say that I miss my opportunity to say it. When I say hurtful words, I wish there was some way to shove them back into my mouth and try to re-say it, but in a way that isn't so hurtful. I regret conversations that are awkward, and I didn't do a thing to make it un-awkward.

I deal with this regret every day. I am human. I try to be better, but I slip up sometimes. 

Feel good about yourself and don't regret a thing. (I should listen to my own advice)

Lahve always,

Madison