I want to be...

that was it.

I never thought I would find myself saying this, but I think... I am going to miss school...

I am going to miss the beauty of making new friends. I am going to miss going to dances. Football games and basketball games. Taking pictures for homework. Blogging for english.

The scary thing about a big school like Lone Peak is that I may never see the new friends I made this year ever again. Math friends. English friends. I cry inside myself every time I think about it.

Truth be told, I am going to miss the emotional-wreck me that worried about my grades. I am going to miss my gentlemen friends that hold doors open for me.

Things change. I struggle to adapt to that change. It seems as though I finally get comfortable with the way things are and then change comes around and well... changes things.

I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. How I'm going to let go of these friendships and make new ones. How I'm going spend my summer before school starts again.

That was it. This is the end of my sophomore year.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Lack of Pebbles

Stargirl has a wagon of pebbles. I have a box of pebbles. Except for, as of right now, I am lacking in the pebble part. It has been raining for four days and counting. Everybody around me complains about that, but to tell you the truth, I love it.

Another truth I must tell you: I feel like crying. No, there is not a specific reason for why. I just feel like breaking down and letting my tears flow like a waterfall down my cheeks.  Tears of pain, tears of longing, and a bundle of blank tears.

The sun will come out... Tomorrow?

Avec amour,

Madison

Four Pebbles

Time.

How is it that time travels so fast? I'm really a sophomore in high school? Am I really already sixteen? What? I will really be a legal adult in two years? Is there really only two more summers left until I'm on my own?

It feels like just yesterday I was dancing with my baby doll in my living room. It feels like I was just flying kites at the beach with grandma and grandpa. Seems like just yesterday I was counting down the days until I could get my permit. Just yesterday I was a Beehive looking up to all the Laurels in my ward.

And now, all of that is come and gone. I have graduated from brushing my dolls' hair and moved up to brushes being "microphones." Flying kites has turned into occasional Sunday Phone calls. I am now the Laurel that all the Beehives look to.

Where did time go?

"Don't blink 

just like that

your six years old

and you take a nap, and you 

wake up and you're twenty five 

then your high school sweetheart becomes your wife

Don't blink 

Just might miss your babies grow

and like mine did

turning into moms and dads,

next thing you know

your better half of fifty years is there in bed

and you're praying God takes you instead 

trust me friend 

A hundred years goes faster than you think. 

So don't blink."

-Don't Blink, Kenney Chesney

If I ever became famous, I would have to be on a Got Milk poster.

I am pretty ecstatic that it is finally May. It is a very promising month. 

Here, take some song lyrics:

"I keep my head on straight

and my eyes wide open

I try to move forward

wishing and hoping

I took a hold of myself

In the middle of November

Don't you look back now

It's all I can remember

I feel like I'm leaving

Like I'm leaving home

Like the clouds are parting and I'm not alone

I'm learning to live

I'm learning to learn

Starting to sing my song

right or wrong

Breaking away

Setting me free

Freedom in my own life

I'm learning to live"

Live May lively.

Lahve Always,

Maddiey