it tastes like soap but it doesn't really taste like soap.

And then I lower my whole mouth in and take a gulp.

I am overly excited for fall this year.

I am excited for

the cardigans 

and the scarfs 

and the boots.

I am excited for

long walks through the park

and the color changing mountains

and a little bit of cold air.

I am excited for

a change in season

and a change in scenery.

My favorite movie reminds me of fall. It almost seems appropriate to watch it in the fall and no other season but fall. Of course I will watch it in other seasons, but my favorite way to enjoy fall is to cuddle up every once in a while and watch this movie. I'll give you quotes from this movie (hopefully something I haven't already quoted) and I want you to guess what it is (feel free to leave your guess in a comment): p.s. Dani, wait till others have guessed first. You already know what movie I'm talking about.

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the [heck] they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino." 

"A HOTDOG is singing. You need quiet while a hotdog is singing? "


"You are a lone reed, standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce."

I'm a lone reed.
Avec Amour,

Maddiey 

crooked souls.

It seems as though everything I knew to be pleasing and lovely has suddenly swapped with the hideous and the unwanted. I am not sure what to think anymore. I am doing things I never would have imagined my Self to do the days previous to this one. I have cried more painful tears and remained calm which is not my normal way of living. I have almost forgotten what it's like to laugh to the point where I think I might need a change of pants.

I am a crooked soul trying ever so hard to stay up straight.

9.11.

It is crazy to think that it has been ten years since that day.

I think I was too young to comprehend what was really happening, but looking back I do remember those who were around me at that time were devastated and I couldn't help but feel the same way.

It was interesting to read articles in the newspaper today and to see the different perspectives and stories from the different journalists.

I am reminded of the country song by Darryl Worley, Have You Forgotten? (First song on my playlist below.)

This day has more meaning for me today than it did ten years ago; I am older and can understand the devastation with more meaning.

God bless America.

you are not that ugly.

"Ew, I hate my picture!"

"I'm so doing retakes!"

"OMGosh, your picture looks so much better than mine!"

"Come on, BFF, let's see your picture! Come on! Let me see it! It cannot be as bad as mine!"

bleh.

There are two days of the beginning of the school year that drive me crazier than my newly-teenbop brother on a bad day. Those days happen to be picture day.

Come on, let's be honest. We all know that you absolutely love yourself in that picture. You are the one who curls your hair in perfect curls and had your outfit picked out since the first day of summer. You are the one who double-frosted that caked-on makeup on your petit face so you look like a person I've never seen before. You even wear a nice pair of skinny jeans and your most stylish pair of high heels. Like you can actually see them.
Right before your picture is taken, you pull out your mini mirror, touch up your makeup, cake on luscious lipgloss, and ask the boys standing next to you, "How do I look?"
When you get your ID card, you walk straight to your friends (or at least someone who will respond the way you want them to) and say the quoted sentences above (beginning of this post).

And then there's me.

Eh, I should probably wear a shirt... yeah, that could be good....

NAH, just joking with ya. I wear a shirt that is one step fancier than a t-shirt. I only wore a skirt today because it happened to be Wednesday (aka Temple Day). I straightened my hair- not to fancy and not to plain. I put on the amount of makeup that the above person would consider it to be the equivalent of being naked.

I get my picture taken.
Grab ID card.
Wait for class to finish.
Pretend to listen to people get mad about their picture.
Go back to class.

Now I can check out a book from the school library.
Avec Amour,
Maddiey
post script: I got a letter from "Army Man" (aka Breton) today. Whoop whoop.

I'm going (most likely)!

Everywhere I go, I think of all the possible ways he could kiss me.

here we go again.

So... it being the first day of school, why don't I just tell you about myself (because that's what the first week of school is all about).

Hey. I'm Maddiey. Maddiey Beardall. I like photography. I like to read. 

I didn't have one thought (well, maybe one...) about lying/cheating in get-to-know-you bingo this year (hmm... oh yeah I play football... uh-huh...)

My teeth ache terribly because apparently I am stressed about the first day of school and I didn't even let my Self know (I grit my teeth when I am nervous or completely focused... it's possibly one of my favorite traits about myself).

 I freaked out a sophomore by telling her about my obsession with Nicholas Sparks/ The Notebook as well as my favorite actor, Tom Hanks. Oh I also told her my favorite memory was laying on a public walkway. (I almost seriously put "good times" after that, but that drives me nuts and I don't feel like sounding like "Wentzy" No, not now)

I walked into PreCalc Honors and had to remind my Self that smart people take smart classes like PreCalc Honors (unless your me, and then you are just one of those stupid people who think they can take smart classes).

I FINALLY finished my summer honors english homework. (Note: It is the first day of school. Yup, procrastinator is my middle name.)

I love to write, although I'm not very good at it. If I knew how to paint, I would be a lovely painter. I love to sing, sometimes in the shower. I am insanely white for August.

My first happy thought about school: I can't wait to see Avery Taylor (As in I-don't-know-you-very-well-and-I-can't-explain-why-I-am-excited-to-see-you. Sorry, Avery, if that creeps you out. It's not supposed to be that way... It's a compliment...)

Second happy thought: I can't wait to see Mme Winkleman!

Basically, I can't wait to go to French.

I kinda want to be more than friends.
Avec Amour,
Maddiey
15 Pebbles

new discoveries.

I must admit- it is better to be awake when everyone else is asleep.  I woke up this morning at 5:30ish to watch the sun rise. I sat on my trampoline, wrapped up in a blanket that brought  back childhood memories. The view isn't photo-able, but it is a sight that you have to see for yourself.


As sunlight began to turn silhouette objects into detailed trees and mountains, I dressed myself (this process also includes putting my camera around my neck) and went for a morning walk. I took the long ways rather than the shortcuts because I had no need to get somewhere in a hurry. I ate a banana, whose peel began as a freckled yellow color, which turned burnt orange and eventually a blah brown by the end of my walk.

I passed friendly joggers who had an interest in what I was doing with my camera. One wished me luck and another told me where I could find some deer (which by the way are very difficult to take pictures of- they like to hide behind bushes and leap speedily towards their new destination). I was very appreciative of their kindness- especially the dear jogger, who on her way back from where she came from, asked how my pictures turned out. I told them my struggles of getting pictures of those stubborn deer and they acted all excited to hear every word I said. I wish I got their picture so I could add it to my collection project. Bummer.

When I returned home, I sat on my newly poured concrete basketball court and read the newspaper. I was surrounded by a whole family reunion of birds and one brushed the side of my face (I almost peed my pants...) as I looked back on my lovely morning. It was the best way to start off my lovely Saturday.

Rollie and Phyllis Bestor Dropped by today. Our conversation was simple, yet worth while. I would be ridiculous if I didn't consider them family.

You drove up in your Grandma's car and I realized I still have a thing for you.
Avec Amour,
Madison

post script: 'I hope we have classes together this year {thumbs up}.' OH YEAH WE BETTER!!  I thought with too much enthusiasm to be said aloud in public.