The moment I realized how much I loved to read, I started to make more time to read. Obviously. That's when my attempt to read during car rides took place. Can you guess what book I read? I ask that because I tend to have to tell this story a lot and you most likely know the answer. Well, I will tell you- It was book one of the Harry Potter series. Do you know the feeling when your sick and you eat something you really like, and when you are recovered and you go to eat it again, you feel like your still sick? Yeah, well that's what it was like when I read HP in the car. Turns out, my idea of reading in the car wasn't so genius after all.

Finally, after seeing all of the movies, I decided it was time to pull out the books and try to get past my sick feelings towards book one. Guess what? I finally reached book two. Guess what (again)? I really like them.

*          *          *

It wasn't until the end of elementary school and the beginning of jr. high that I picked up my late night reading habits. It was the age where I had just advanced from Primary to Beehives. I did what most Beehives do- look up to the older girls. On the way home from a mutual activity, I walked home with the older girls and had a lovely conversation about books. One of them mentioned the book that is now probably the most hated book of all times- Twilight. At the time, I had no clue what the book was or what it was about. As a "graduation gift," my mom bought me my very own copy of Twilight. It was from that book that my midnight reading habits begun. I had to know whether or not Edward and Bella would be together, and with a bedtime of 8:30, there's no way I would've known.

*          *          *

Now it is expected of me to stay up till wee hours of the day, reading page after page until my hunger is satisfied. My siblings know it. My parents know it. My siblings make comments and 8PM, saying that it won't be another 4-5 hours before I finally shut my eyes to catch some Z's. My mum and pop come down and tell me it's time to go to bed, and I tell them I'm almost done, then read for another hour or two.

Un livre.
-Maddiey Beardall

call me crazy.

I would apologize for not posting in a while, but then I would be lying- I'm really not sorry. You would probably consider it pathetic if you were to see how many hours I sit here, staring blankly into the computer screen.

Now, here's your options: read this rant of my selfish desires or skip reading this post entirely and find something more worth your time.

Here we go.

I wish I would spend more time in libraries and reading books. I want to take home large stacks of books and pile them all around my room. Instead of countless hours of Solitaire, I would read a variety of novels and write down the lines I like. It would be acceptable to read more than one book at a time, even though my mother gets frustrated when I do so. I would read during the free moments in my classes, regardless of the thoughts I have racing through my mind of what people might think of me. It is truth to say that the world inside a book is far better than a life full of high school drama.

Hey! I think I'll try it.
But first, I'll need to get a library card.

"Save the Shop Around the Corner and it will save your soul."

-Maddiey B.

fall[ing] rain.

.

And out they come.

The slippers all throughout my room start to peek out of their hiding places. Some pairs linger on the carpet of my bedroom floor more than others- I like to pick favorites. Matched with a large fleece blanket, they make my miserably cold body feel somewhat more comfortable.
And a flip of the switch.
As the temperature falls, it becomes clear that leaving my window open only makes life in the basement  more miserable. With a flip of the switch, I can get an artificial fire burning to keep my limbs toasty warm. I will attempt to read a book as I lounge on the cuddle bag extremely to the fireplace. I always end up choosing to fall asleep instead.
And the steam rises.
It is an obvious fact that hot chocolate taste better made with warm milk rather than boiled water. The creamy chocolate is an amazing sensation as you feel it running through your body from the minute you swallow it. Drinking the hot chocolate on your porch or by a window makes it taste extra spectacular- it doesn't really, but yet it really does make it taste better.
And they turn the color blue.
The gloves go on, sleeves pulled down, and hands stuffed in my pockets. My hands loose their fleshy color and begin to turn into ice cold rocks. Like vampires' hands, but we aren't going there.The cold disables me from writing legibly for the next hour or so. It causes my hands to swell up to the point where it looks like a plastic glove filled with air, ready to burst any minute.


And now I am ready for fall.
Farewell, Steve Jobs.
Avec Amour,
Maddiey

another year gone by.

I've changed. For the better, I hope, but some may beg to differ. 

I ask myself: Is it possible for a person to change so much in one year? Apparently so. But to tell you the truth, I am happy with the change that so rapidly happened in a year. My views on certain opinions dramatically changed and some may have found that to make me a hypocritical person. I don't care so much about what people think of me anymore. 

I dance when nobody's looking. I dance when everybody is watching. 

I sing to my Self. I sing when people are listening. 

I cry. 

I read books other than romance novels. I read in libraries. 

I amuse my Self. 

I occasionally walk barefoot. 

I've gone green and use a lunch box rather than using brown sacks. 

I am working harder at remembering to recycle paper. 

I enjoy sleeping in general and taking long naps in the afternoon. 

I have accepted the fact that I am not as tan as I was last year. 

I rather enjoy reading the newspaper and read who's birthday it is everyday. 

I write in cursive. 

I enjoy being by myself every once in a while. 

I love rooftop concerts.

I speak some French.

I like what I have become.

F-O-X.

Avec Amour,

Madison 

it tastes like soap but it doesn't really taste like soap.

And then I lower my whole mouth in and take a gulp.

I am overly excited for fall this year.

I am excited for

the cardigans 

and the scarfs 

and the boots.

I am excited for

long walks through the park

and the color changing mountains

and a little bit of cold air.

I am excited for

a change in season

and a change in scenery.

My favorite movie reminds me of fall. It almost seems appropriate to watch it in the fall and no other season but fall. Of course I will watch it in other seasons, but my favorite way to enjoy fall is to cuddle up every once in a while and watch this movie. I'll give you quotes from this movie (hopefully something I haven't already quoted) and I want you to guess what it is (feel free to leave your guess in a comment): p.s. Dani, wait till others have guessed first. You already know what movie I'm talking about.

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the [heck] they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino." 

"A HOTDOG is singing. You need quiet while a hotdog is singing? "


"You are a lone reed, standing tall, waving boldly in the corrupt sands of commerce."

I'm a lone reed.
Avec Amour,

Maddiey 

crooked souls.

It seems as though everything I knew to be pleasing and lovely has suddenly swapped with the hideous and the unwanted. I am not sure what to think anymore. I am doing things I never would have imagined my Self to do the days previous to this one. I have cried more painful tears and remained calm which is not my normal way of living. I have almost forgotten what it's like to laugh to the point where I think I might need a change of pants.

I am a crooked soul trying ever so hard to stay up straight.

9.11.

It is crazy to think that it has been ten years since that day.

I think I was too young to comprehend what was really happening, but looking back I do remember those who were around me at that time were devastated and I couldn't help but feel the same way.

It was interesting to read articles in the newspaper today and to see the different perspectives and stories from the different journalists.

I am reminded of the country song by Darryl Worley, Have You Forgotten? (First song on my playlist below.)

This day has more meaning for me today than it did ten years ago; I am older and can understand the devastation with more meaning.

God bless America.