crooked souls.

It seems as though everything I knew to be pleasing and lovely has suddenly swapped with the hideous and the unwanted. I am not sure what to think anymore. I am doing things I never would have imagined my Self to do the days previous to this one. I have cried more painful tears and remained calm which is not my normal way of living. I have almost forgotten what it's like to laugh to the point where I think I might need a change of pants.

I am a crooked soul trying ever so hard to stay up straight.

C'est Bon.

So much wasted in the afternoon,

so much sacred [time] in the month of June.

Maybe I should write my summer list of things to do on paper instead of leaving it as a mental note. I have forgotten so much of it, and now, I am bored out of my mind. No to mention, all my friends are gone or not available. C'est bon... je pense... 

Here. Take a goggle at these beautiful women:

Dorothea Lange

Jessie Tarbox Beals

Margaret Bourke-White

(The captions have a link to their bios.)

Hello, Darling. I believe it is summertime.

*post script: Is it sad that all I can think about is books (and photography)? Is it sad that all I really have to talk about is books (and photography)? Is it sad that all I want to do is read a book (and take pictures)?
Maybe you understand, but maybe not.
It's fine. I still love you.

that was it.

I never thought I would find myself saying this, but I think... I am going to miss school...

I am going to miss the beauty of making new friends. I am going to miss going to dances. Football games and basketball games. Taking pictures for homework. Blogging for english.

The scary thing about a big school like Lone Peak is that I may never see the new friends I made this year ever again. Math friends. English friends. I cry inside myself every time I think about it.

Truth be told, I am going to miss the emotional-wreck me that worried about my grades. I am going to miss my gentlemen friends that hold doors open for me.

Things change. I struggle to adapt to that change. It seems as though I finally get comfortable with the way things are and then change comes around and well... changes things.

I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. How I'm going to let go of these friendships and make new ones. How I'm going spend my summer before school starts again.

That was it. This is the end of my sophomore year.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.